A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, \u201cI\u2019ll give you $800 to drop that towel.\u201d
\nAfter thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
\nWhen she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, \u201cWho was that?\u201d
\n\u201cIt was Bob the next door neighbour,\u201d she replies.
\n\u201cGreat,\u201d the husband says, \u201cdid he say anything about the $800 he owes me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Moral of the story:
\nIf you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/p>\n
Lesson 2:<\/h1>\n
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
\nShe got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
\nThe priest nearly had an accident.
\nAfter controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
\nThe nun said, \u201cFather, remember Psalm 129?\u201d
\nThe priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
\nThe nun once again said, \u201cFather, remember Psalm 129?\u201d
\nThe priest apologized \u201cSorry sister but the flesh is weak.\u201d
\nArriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
\nOn his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
\nIt said, \u201cGo forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.\u201d<\/p>\nMoral of the story:
\nIf you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nLesson 3:<\/h1>\n
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
\nThe Genie says, \u201cI\u2019ll give each of you just one wish.\u201d
\n\u201cMe first! Me first!\u201d says the admin clerk. \u201cI want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.\u201d Puff! She\u2019s gone.
\n\u201cMe next! Me next!\u201d says the sales rep. \u201cI want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.\u201d Puff! He\u2019s gone.
\n\u201cOK, you\u2019re up,\u201d the Genie says to the manager.
\nThe manager says, \u201cI want those two back in the office after lunch.\u201d<\/p>\nMoral of the story:
\nAlways let your boss have the first say.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nLesson 4:<\/h1>\n
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
\nA small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, \u201cCan I also sit like you and do nothing?\u201d
\nThe eagle answered: \u201cSure, why not.\u201d
\nSo, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.<\/p>\nMoral of the story:
\nTo be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nLesson 5:<\/h1>\n
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
\n\u201cI would love to be able to get to the top of that tree\u201d sighed the turkey, \u201cbut I haven\u2019t got the energy.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, why don\u2019t you nibble on some of my droppings?\u201d replied the bull. They\u2019re packed with nutrients.\u201d
\nThe turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
\nThe next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
\nFinally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
\nHe was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.<\/p>\nMoral of the story:
\nBull Shit might get you to the top, but it won\u2019t keep you there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nLesson 6:<\/h1>\n
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
\nWhile he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
\nAs the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
\nThe dung was actually thawing him out!
\nHe lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
\nA passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
\nFollowing the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.<\/p>\nMorals of the story:
\n(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
\n(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
\n(3) And when you are in deep shit, it is best to keep your mouth shut!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[9,11,7],"class_list":["post-135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-consulting","tag-joke","tag-work","column","twocol"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t